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Hey guys!
So, since we've had several people point of the repetitive opening, and the few spelling errors, Ella and I took the time to fix it up a bit, and change the opening chapter. ^^ We're sorry about the way our story started, but I think now we have figured out how to better work as a team and get a good story together using all of our good writing-traits combined. Took us a bit to get the hang of doing a collab ;)
So anyway, not only that but we've got another chapter up, for those interested! :D So, if you are, then feel free to go here. :)
Thanks!
38 comments:
Well, it's not repetitive anymore!
Glad you think so! ;)
Awesome! :D
Oh Angie its great! You and Ella did a great job revising it! I loved it before you made the changes and I love it even more after the changes!
But I have one question: Are you homeschooled in real life? Because if you are, you are going to love my reply. ;)
haha thanks guys,
And Cynthia, yep - I'm homeschooled :3
Ahh, thats so cool, cause I'm homeschooled too!
(I've finally met anther winx blogger who is homeschooled like me.)
Yeah, so I've been kinda wanting to meet another homeschooler online ever since I started in the blogging world. Thats what all the excitement was about. :P
Lol I've met quite a few during my time on here :)
Im i the only public school kid? xD Not catholic , public school? haha i cant remember anyone every saying " public school" here! xD
Oh, really? The only other homeschoolers I've met online were girls I met on the official winx club website in the forums section.
Oh, and I'm curious, whats the name of your homeschooling program?( You can tell me as long as its okay with you.)
@Shayna and Angie: I'm homeschooled too! :D
Yeah, sorry about the repetitive beginning. I'm not much of a writer...
BTW, sorry I haven't been on as much.
@Stellabigfan, your homeschooled too! Thats so cool! So You, Me and Angie are all homeschooled winx lovers.
Btw, whats the name of your homeschool program?
LUCKY -.-
@Cynthia: Hey, don't forget about me! I'm also homeschooled. WOOT WOOT!
Oh cool, you're homeschooled too Shayna! Thats so awesome!
(There are a lot more people homeschooled here then I thought.)
Um, Winx 4 Life Team, I sent you my entry for the Write Winx Write Now contest two days ago, and I was wondering if you got it yet. Can you please tell me incase I have to resend it?
Thanks!
why every comment i see someone is homeschooled...well me too! XD in fact im supposed to be doing school now :3 anyway..i didn't like the story at all :/ sorry
Goodness! So meany homeschoolers xD
@CrystalWind, Aw, we're sorry to hear that :/ Is there anything we could improve on/do better to capture your interest?
Hey guys, thanks for all the feedback. CrystalWind,it's okay. Like Angie asked, what is something you think we should have done?
Cynthia- We have revived your article and judging will start shortly.
Thank you all who have entered!
iam not homeschoold -.-
Oh cool, thanks for replying Winx 4 Life team!
@Angie, you are right there are a lot of hmoeschoolers on here! I count 5(including me)!
you guys are s lucky! I am not even close to being home-schooled!
Err that thing with straffi kinda creeped me out and u made them not know about them being in a tv show and all of that would have been better if u made it after the winx came to earth like 16 years after the winx brought the magic back to earth or something...anyway it ur story :)
I'm not going to lie. I cringed reading it. I don't like the new intro. You introduce an active narrator who addresses the reader as if it was a first person account and then you go to third person. Please, do not flip-flop between points of view. You're not Jodi Picoult and your story does not merit that sort of storytelling. It makes your story incomplete because you don't write an epilogue in that first-person voice. Changing voices is something every other fanfic writer does when he or she cannot grasp one voice. I would think that between the three of you, you would be able to see this. I would suggest that you rewrite it in a third-person voice or remove it.
^ I never even thought about that (granted, I only read the first chapter to see what they changed), but you're kinda right.
I will fix that at once.
It has been edited.
What exactly did you change?
I think she changed the "I" to "we". It makes it kind of sound like the narrator of the movie, in my opinion. (Which I like. ^^)
Reminder: you're writing a story, not a movie script. You can't apply cinematic devices in literature.
True, but since it's written in the sense that the three of us our telling a story, I think it works.
I'm sorry; what?
Sorry, the three of us as in Ella, Stellabigfan and I. The writers of this blog. :P
And are* not our. My apologies, I've been having a lot of typos lately.
That still doesn't explain the change in point of view.
Originally,as you had pointed out,it was written on first person. I then when and changed it to third person to almost give the effect of having an narrator.
I am sorry for the confusion.
So where are the changes exactly?
... really ?..
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